http://123454321222222.rusff.me/ 1233333 ru-ru Mon, 01 Jan 2024 08:08:39 +0300 MyBB/mybb.ru http://123454321222222.rusff.me/viewtopic.php?pid=19#p19 <p><span style="display: block; text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-size: 24px">Профессиональные услуги клининга</span></strong></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160;<span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="display: block; text-align: center">Профессиональные услуги клининга: уборка после ремонта, генеральная, поддерживающая, химчистка мягкой мебели, удаление жировых отложений на кухне парогенератором, мытье окон + альпинист и многое другое. Мы также предлагаем ЭКО-чистку детских игрушек, колясок, комнат и различных предметов. Заказ по тел. +7 915 204 1047 Наш канал: t.me/wwcleaning Москва и Московская область</span></span>&#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; &#160; 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text-align: center"><img class="postimg" loading="lazy" src="http://s2.uploads.ru/QzTen.png" alt="http://s2.uploads.ru/QzTen.png" /></span></p><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Страх - это когда трамвай, зацепивший &quot;порше-кайен&quot;, скрывается во дворах.</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Прихожу сегодня на оперативку. Все уже на месте сидим ждем капитана - Палыча. Залетает. - &quot;Вашу мать! Кто вчера в опергруппе дежурил?!?&quot; -..А что случилось? В чем дело?” Смотрю, Палыч окончательна звереет: - &quot;Кто вчера в опергруппе дежурил?!? Встает Кудряшев: “Я, товарищ капитан.” Палыч: “Ты на вызов ездил?!” Кудряшев: “Так точно, товарищ капитан.” Палыч: “Покойницу забирал?” Кудряшев: “Забирал…” Палыч : -“НУ?!” Кудряшев: “Николай Павлович, ну я её это… в морг отвез, там сторож один был, мне её пришлось самому затаскивать.”. Палыч: “Ты дальше рассказывай лейтенант.” Кудряшев: “Ну в морге мест не было…” : “А она ведь старушка, не мог уж я её на пол бросить. Ну, я её на стул посадил около сторожа, а она сползает. Я верёвкой её и привязал, в одну руку ей паспорт положил, в другую постановление на вскрытие…” К моменту когда Кудряшев закончил ржали уже все. Палыч: -&quot;Мало того,что сторож ей всю ночь анекдоты рассказывал, так с утра пришла уборщица , тоже бабка кстати. Попросила твою бабку, чтобы она ноги подняла, бабка молчит... Уборщица подумала, что бабка заснула и толкнула ее ноги шваброй... Когда уборщица поняла,что бабка умерла, то она сразу потеряла сознание и падая зацепила документы, которые упали на уборщицу... Санитары думая, что уборщица и есть покойник, так как документы лежали на ней. Погрузили ее на каталку и отвезли на вскрытие, где ее раздели и положили на стол для вскрытия. В это время пришли студенты 1 курса с мед-училища, окружили уборщицу и преподаватель собираясь сделать первый надрез, повернул уборщице голову. В этот момент она открыла глаза и очнулась. В обморок упали все, даже преподаватель...</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Итaк зaдaние: Лес 15 гектaров, тудa зaпустили зaйцa и нужно его нaйти. <br />Первые aмерикосы, в лес ломится взвод SWAT, чaс нету, 2 нету, через <br />3 выносят зaйцa, все в восторге молодцы трa-лaлa... <br />Дaльше aнгличaне, зaгоняют в лес лучших королевских солдaт, кучу охотничьих <br />собaк и прочей лaбуды, через чaс выносят зaйцa... все в шоке, aфигеть... <br />Ну и очередь русских. <br />... В лес топчут двa оперa в форме с пaпочкaми, все нaчaли возмущaться: <br />- Мужики, вы кудa, вы тaм пaру дней просидите. <br />Оперa - Все нормaльно. <br />- Дa ну на..., мы зaдолбaемся вaс тут ждaть. <br />- Все нормaльно. Короче вошли в лес. <br />В лесу шум, треск, крики. <br />Через 15 минут выходят! Выводят медведя в нaручникaх. Подводят к судьям. <br />Медведь: <br />- Где тут рaсписaться, я-зaяц! ))))</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Пошел Вовочка в кино. Перед ним села влюбленная парочка.<br />Юноша обнял девушку и спросил :<br />- Ты что-нибудь чувствуешь?<br />- Да. Что ты меня любишь.<br />Утром в детском саду Вовочка прижимает к себе маленькую Свету .<br />- Ты что-нибудь чувствуешь?<br />- Нет.<br />Он прижимает сильнее.<br />- А теперь?<br />- Чувствую.<br />- Что?<br />- Какать хочу!</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Письмо матери-блондинки своей дочери-блондинке: &quot;Здравствуй, дорогая доченька! Если ты получишь это письмо, значит, оно до тебя дошло. Если же нет, то дай мне знать, и я напишу тебе ещe раз. Я пишу медленно, потому что я знаю, что ты не очень быстро читаешь. Погода у нас хорошая. На прошлой неделе дождь шел всего два раза: в начале недели, 3 дня, и ближе к концу, в течение 4 дней. Кстати, насчет пальтишка, которое ты хотела, дядя Вася сказал, что если пересылать его с этими литыми пуговицами, то это выйдет слишком дорого по весу, поэтому я их отрезала. Пришей их обратно, я положила их в правый кармашек. Твой папа нашeл новую работу. Под ним 500 человек! Он косит траву на кладбище. Твоя сестра Настя недавно вышла замуж, и ждет малыша. Мы не знаем, какого он пола, поэтому пока что не могу тебе сказать, будешь ли ты дядей или тeтей. Если это девочка, то она хочет еe назвать, как меня. Немного странное решение, назвать свою дочку Мама. С твоим братом Толей недавно случился казус: он закрыл свою машину, а ключи оставил внутри. Ему пришлось вернуться домой пешком ( 10 километров!), чтобы взять второй комплект ключей, и выпустить нас из машины. Если ты вдруг встретишь свою кузину Лилю, то передай ей от меня привет. Eсли ты еe не встретишь, то ничего ей не говори. Твоя мама.<br />P.S.: Я хотела отослать тебе немного денег, но уже заклеила конверт&quot;</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Муж заболел гриппом. Собираюсь ему в нос капли закапать, зашла с сыном в комнату, жду пока проснется. Сын шепотом говорит: <br />- Да чего ты ждёшь? Закапывай, пока спит. <br />Муж сквозь сон: <br />- Рано меня закапывать - тело ещё не остыло.</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Катины родители укатили на дачу и пригласила Катя Васю в гости..<br />И вот Вася, сделав любимой хорошо, как был в неглиже, потопал в сортир, а Катерина, будучи девушкой чистоплотной, потопала в ванную...<br />В это время, родители Кати то ли что-то забыли, то ли передумали ехать, вернулись... А дальше рассказ от первого, что немаловажно, Васиного лица:<br />&quot;Сижу я в сортире, никого не трогаю... Тут открывается дверь, я поднимаю голову и вижу... Катиного папу... секунды через 2-3 ступор с меня спадает и я задаю, как мне тогда казалось, самый на тот момент естественный после открытия двери вопрос: &quot;Здравствуйте, а Катя ДОМА???&quot;<br />Папа оказался с юмором, он чуть не рыдая от смеха, сказанул:<br />&quot;Она в ванной, зайди попозже&quot;, - и закрыл дверь...</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">- Василий Иванович, как &quot;грудь&quot; пишется, через &quot;т&quot; или &quot;д&quot;?<br />- Пиши по-простому, Петька: &quot;сиськи&quot;.<br />- Так, что ж я по-вашему революцию СИСЬКАМИ защищал?!</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box quote-main"><blockquote><p><strong><span style="font-style: italic">Для приготовления коктеля &quot;Три поросёнка&quot; купите ящик водки и пригласите к себе двух друзей</span></strong></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box spoiler-box"><div onclick="$(this).toggleClass('visible'); $(this).next().toggleClass('visible');">юмор</div><blockquote><p><img class="postimg" loading="lazy" src="http://cs7002.vk.me/c7004/v7004398/27e3/EMC_qeghDKk.jpg" alt="http://cs7002.vk.me/c7004/v7004398/27e3/EMC_qeghDKk.jpg" /></p></blockquote></div><div class="quote-box spoiler-box"><div onclick="$(this).toggleClass('visible'); $(this).next().toggleClass('visible');">юмор</div><blockquote><p><img class="postimg" loading="lazy" src="http://cs7002.vk.me/c7004/v7004518/2289/12eaZedz2Mw.jpg" alt="http://cs7002.vk.me/c7004/v7004518/2289/12eaZedz2Mw.jpg" /></p></blockquote></div> mybb@mybb.ru (Лекс) Thu, 14 Mar 2013 22:31:05 +0400 http://123454321222222.rusff.me/viewtopic.php?pid=18#p18